Friday, September 6, 2013

What does God want?

Every now and then I think about whether I ought to have a blog so that I can get others' feedback and prayers and all that good stuff. And then I think noooooo. Because I don't have a theme. I just have my life. Welcome to it, by the way!

One recurring theme in my life over the past six years is trying to do what God wants. I never asked God about moving out here. I just wanted to come here so much that I let my heart lead. My husband (Jonathan) wanted to come, too. And we both just love it here. But God does not necessarily call one to happiness, no matter how warm and fuzzy that sounds.

Then we moved here and everything was wonderful! Except that I couldn't find a job. Then I found a part-time job that I loved, but it couldn't support us. Then after a year here, I found a job teaching, but it wasn't the kind of teaching I wanted, and it didn't work out. I loved working for the Census, but that stuff mostly ends when the every-ten-years thing ends. I kept not getting jobs for which I applied, both teaching and writing jobs, so I started my own writing and editing company. That's still going, but it isn't doing well. I started a pumpkin patch this year, and I love it, but I don't know if I'll even break even.

We do have savings, even now. However, I'm only 57, and our savings will not last forever. Jonathan is disabled with no income—even if he could get disability (for which he has been turned down twice), it probably wouldn't be more than a couple of hundred dollars a month, which may seem worth the time to you but to me is just one more thing to do.

So that's the drill. I still absolutely love living here, but I like to plan my life, and there is a complete lack of plan. What the heck does God want?

1 comment:

Rabia Lieber said...

That's the million dollar question, isn't it? If only we could get a million dollars for asking it! I don't have an answer for you (or for myself for that matter), but I hope that asking and praying for the answer, give you some peace of mind.